Brake Dance

The Holy Ground Highlander Forum Midweek Challenge

Archivist’s Note: The stories and vignettes offered here from various Rysher Forumlanders have not been edited or changed other than having a spell-check performed and being reformatted for this website.


Posted by Leah CWPacking on Monday, 22 May 2000, at 8:53 a.m.

Since some Forum members plan to be away for the second half of this week at LEGACY, I thought it might be appropriate to begin the Mid-week challenge early.

For those who wish to participate, here's the scenario:

Four Immortals, stuck in a *huge* traffic jam on a major highway.

Any 4 Immortals (one Mortal is permissible as a substitute for one of the Immies). No other restrictions apply.

Good luck!

Midweek Challenge: Looking a bit sheepish...

Posted by Chimera on Monday, 22 May 2000, at 1:23 p.m.

This was a tough one, Leah.

The coach stopped suddenly as the horses began to pull across the one-lane bridge. The bleating of sheep sounded loudly ahead.

Fitzcairn poked his head out of the coach door, and shouted, "Coachman, get a move on. I have an engagement with a most delightful lady, and I'm almost late already." He flipped his lace jabot and smirked, thinking about the evening to come.

"I can't sir, there's a flock of sheep on the bridge, being driven toward us."

"Well, drive them back the other way, damn it! They're only sheep!"

At that moment, another coach started across from the other side, then stopped, confronted by the large flock of sheep, milling around on the middle of the bridge.

Fitzcairn yelled to the other coach, "Back off and let the sheep get by."

The shepherd chimed in with, "No sir, these sheep are going to your side. You back off, I was here first. Under Article 76 of the King's Highway Traffic Act, all wheeled vehicles must give way to sheep."

Fitzcairn recognized the immortal buzz coming from somewhere near. Was it the shepherd or someone in the other coach? Or both?

A woman in the other coach opened the door to lean out, and inquire, "What is the hold up? You, there, get your coach off the bridge so we may cross." Kristin scowled when she realized Fitzcairn was an immortal. "Oh, damn!" she hissed.

A pair of riders pulled up behind Kristin's coach and stopped, seeing the congestion on the bridge. "What the de'il is going on here?" inquired the Highlander. "You, there, in that coach, make way," he yelled across the bridge.

His attractive dark-haired companion waited on her horse, while eyeing the woman now glaring balefully at her from the coach window.

Fitzcairn poked his head out again. "Oh no, not you MacLeod!" He dragged himself out of the coach as MacLeod dismounted with his sword drawn. "Is this really necessary? I have a date!"

Amanda dismounted and drew her sword as Kristin opened the coach door and appeared with her own sword at the ready. "What the hell," Amanda said, "I might as well join the party."

With the Immortals fighting amongst them and the noisy clanging of swords, soon the terrified sheep were leaping off the bridge and swimming for it. The shepherd began to lay about him with his crook, landing a few good blows on the Immortals. The two coachmen backed their horses and turned back down the road they came from. The melee frightened the two mounts and they cantered off into the woods, trailing their reins.

The fight stopped abruptly when the fighters realized they were stranded, and the shepherd yelled, "Now you have to help me round up my sheep! Under Article 77 of the King's Highway Act..."

Midweek Challenge: The Horseman Stalleth

Posted by HonorH the Arctic Wolfe on Monday, 22 May 2000, at 10:33 p.m.

(Takes place during Rev. 6:8 after the Wunderboys have picked up Caspian, but before they've settled into Kamelot)

"Stupid Parisian drivers," muttered Methos sourly.

He had some reason for being upset with them at the moment. Being stuck in a traffic jam was bad enough under ordinary circumstances, but being stuck in a traffic jam with Kronos, Caspian, and Silas was enough, Methos reflected, to considerably shorten the time he'd eventually spend in Purgatory.

Kronos eyed him from the side. "Ah, but brother, won't this make annihilating humanity all the sweeter?" he asked.

Methos had to concede the point.

"I still say we should have taken horses," grumbled Silas from the back seat.

"We should have taken horses, we should have taken horses," mocked Caspian. "We get the point, Silas. You've only said that five thousand times; we're not *all* as thick as you, you know!"

Silas growled. "What did you just call me?"

Caspian fixed him with a reptilian gaze. "Thick. As in dense. Dull. Idiotic. Stupid."

That did it. In another moment, they were at it hammer and tongs. Methos found his seat being bounced around as the two attempted to kill each other right then and there.

"Knock it off!" yelled Methos over the noise of the fracas.

Kronos, meanwhile, was attempting to shove the two apart from the front seat. One of his knees hit the gearshift.

Methos swore loudly in Sanskrit as the car lurched forward, coming within a hair's breadth of the bumper in front of it. He slammed on the brakes, threw the car into "park," turned around, and shoved Kronos into the back seat completely, forcing Silas and Caspian apart.

"SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU, JUST SHUT UP!!!!" roared Methos. Startled, all three fell silent, staring at their oldest Brother. Methos threw another glare around before speaking again. "All right, here's how it's going to be: Kronos, you're going to sit between those two, just to keep them separate. And if I hear so much as a peep from any of you before we reach Bordeaux, there will be a Quickening in this car. Understood?"

All three Horsemen nodded mutely. Methos turned back around, grumbling under his breath in Yiddish.

"Methos?" came a tentative voice from the back seat.

Methos counted to ten in English, then German, then Sumerian before acknowledging the voice. "Yes, Silas?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Methos rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

*I should have let Cassandra take my head while I had the chance . . .*

Hall of HonorH

Mid Week Challenge: New Jersey Turnpike and 3 immies and me.....

Posted by Viking Lass CWPack Chief MCR creator of comedy schlock on Monday, 22 May 2000, at 8:56 p.m.

This might be long. It's comedy schlock. I rag on New Jersey quite heavily. If you have driven the New Jersey Turnpike you can empathize.


The blonde haired blue eyed mortal glanced in her rearview mirror and saw the beautiful green eyes of her only female passenger glaring back at her. For reassurance the blue eyed mortal glanced to her right and received no friendlier look from the man with a scar down the right side of his face.

Just then there was a moan from the other male passenger in the back seat. A beautiful pair of hazel colored eyes met the mortal's blue eyes in the mirror.

Then there were two startled noises from him.

"Aaah," Methos said as he noticed that Cassandra was sitting just a few inches away from him.

Then when Methos saw that his brother Kronos was in front of him a longer and more startled, "AAAH," was emitted.

The mortal tried to smile. Then Methos asked, "What is that smell?"

"Elizabeth, New Jersey," came the reply from the mortal.

"Viking Lass, now will you tell us what is going on?"

"Uhm, I guess so." I met their angry glances.

"See Leah gave us an early mid week challenge and I wanted to continue my romantic comedy schlock that I'm quite good at."

Methos then questioned me. "How did you get the 3 of us together? I don't remember being in the same town as Cassie & Kronos."

"Well, I paid some street thugs to slip you all mickeys in you drinks and they met me in Jersey City. They delivered the goods, you three, and I paid them. Simple as that."

"What?" Methos questioned indignantly.

"Dear, this is New Jersey, this is how things are done sometimes." I replied honestly.

"We're not moving." Methos said plainly.

"Good observation skills," Cassie sneered.

"Cassie, behave." I snip.

"VIKING LASS THIS DOOR WON'T OPEN!" Kronos yells and pulls violently on the door handle.

"Yes, I know, I have the child safety locks engaged."

Kronos growls.

"See, we're in a traffic jam on the New Jersey Turnpike. I decided to that you three needed a day of fun at Great Adventure Amusement Park."

Three pairs of eyebrows are raised in my direction.

"I have to get you two," I point to Methos & Cassie, "to fall back in love."

"Then why am I in your 'romantic schlock' as you put it?" Kronos asked.

"Well….cause I kinda have a thing for you, K. But I try to keep it hush hush."

I glance nervously away. Kronos stretches out in the front seat.

"That smell is horrible," Methos says with disgust.

"Viking Lass, are all these people going to the amusement park?" Cassie asks hotly.

"Uh, no most of these people are shoebies."

"They're what?" Methos asks.

"Shoebies," I reply, "Northern New Jerseyans who go down shore for the weekend."

"Shoebies?" Methos asks again.

"Yes, see, a Tom's River resident is not a shoebie but a Bayonne resident or a Mooniche resident is a shobie."

"I see," he said and closed the subject.

Traffic inched along and I said enthusiastically, "When the road opens up we can play license plate bingo."

"Yeah. I waited four thousand years to play a game called license plate bingo." Kronos said devoid of anything except sarcasm.

"Viking Lass, I have a question for you."

"Yes, Cassie, what's up?"

"Why do you feel compelled to get Methos and I back together?"

"Well for starters you'd make a striking couple, no pun intended. Secondly, there's entirely too much romantic potential to leave lying around, like the Highlander writers did. Third I'm really completely projecting onto you two. My boyfriend won't marry me and so I think that everyone else should get married."

Satisfied with my answer apparently, Cassie leans back but not before sticking her tongue out at Methos.

"I think I'm dying from the smell, Viking Lass, how do you stand it?" Methos asked. Though all three immies weren't doing well.

"New Jerseyans are slightly immune to it."

"We will ever move?" Kronos asked, "Cause I want to get those kids in the car in front of us. They're making faces at me." Kronos clenched his fists and tried to open the door again.

"People actually live in this town, Viking Lass?" Methos whined.

"Yes, hey if the world wants to give up its use of chemicals & plastics, then I'm sure Elizabeth would go out of business. It's kind of a useful town, we keep a prison just nearby in Rahway."

"You have a prison in a town called Rahway near a smelly town?" Kronos asked, "Not only is that a bad P.Miano joke waiting to happen but I thought Caspian had cornered the market on torture."

Cassie and Methos roll their eyes and by the time that Cassie was experimenting whether or not she could hold up on her threat to take Methos' and Kronos' heads with her bare hands, I knew I had a problem. Luckily she broke a nail and sulked quietly after that.

Trying to start the conversation again I say, "Just think of all the fun we'll have at the park."

"Oh yes, my dear Viking Lass, long lines to wait in for a short roller coaster ride."

"Sounds like s*x with you." Cassie giggled.

"Like you would know," Kronos sneered.

"Behave you two." I try to maintain some dignity.

"Why haven't we moved yet?" Methos asked irritably.

"Probably because some one miles ahead can't find the exact change for the toll." Kronos said sarcastically.

Methos flipped out at this point, "YOU TO PAY TO GO THRU THIS TORTURE! Even Caspian wasn't that bad, he tortured for free."

Kronos then kicked out the passenger window and started running down the turnpike. Cassie grabbed a piece of the glass and tried to get a clean shot at Methos' neck. Somehow I blocked her in time, but that allowed Methos to get out the broken window. Then Cassie used her Voice on me and the next thing I know I'm singing Raffi. Perhaps this was not my best idea…….